Six Months

How did it get to be six months already? It's almost inconceivable that it was half a year ago that we brought home a tiny, crying bundle. We were both so terrified of doing something wrong, of hurting her. I'm not certain about Minion #2, but for me, the time in the hospital was an oasis of calm, a reassuring time when I had experienced help just a few steps away and people who were there to take care of me.

Then we came home and all too soon I was on my own with only the barest idea of how to take care of this tiny person. Oh, I'd taken classes and read books. I'd helped my mom take care of my brother long ago when I was a small child myself. I'd baby sat for kids over the years. But I had no experience with a child this young, and I was terrified, and overwhelmed and exhausted. It was the hardest thing I've ever done.

Now, things are much easier. I'm not saying EASY, I'm saying easier. I have a much better idea of how to take care of her, of what she wants. She's better at communicating with me. She's perfectly happy playing with her toys for 10-15 minutes at time, which gives me a chance to eat or take out the trash before it gets smelly, or empty the litterbox before the cats use the floor in front of it in rebellion. All of the thousand and one things that I have to do to keep the house running.

Some nights, if I'm lucky, I can get her in bed between 8:30 and 9. If I try to get her to sleep earlier it's a disaster. I think she equates darkness with sleeping; I need to get some blackout curtains for her room. But the fact that I'm contemplating how to get her to sleep on her own a bit earlier is, in itself, quite the victory. In the first month, getting her to sleep at all at night was a battle. I spent most nights walking around the house for hours, trying to get her to sleep at all. And when she did, it was only if she was nestled in my arms.

More and more, she's becoming a little person. She laughs when I'm silly and make huge, exaggerated kisses all over her belly. She smiles at me in the mornings, which is enough to make all of the rest of it worthwhile. She has a definite personality, including a temper. She wants things HER way, and she wants them NOW. She loves the new experience of eating solid food. So far I think banana is her favorite, but squash and oatmeal seem pretty tasty too.

She plays with her toys. I have a little monkey that someone gave us that travels with her in her car seat. She chews on him and pushes his button nose, which makes him play a song. She mashes the keys on her tiny toy piano with evident delight. Splashing in the tub or her tiny baby pool is very fun. And she loves books - well, chewing on them, but it's a start, right?

Six months since this tiny, incredible person came into my life, turning it upside and absolutely taking over every aspect of it. And it's been wonderful.