The hardest part of parenting is something I never even thought about. It's the uncertainty. Am I doing the right thing? Is this the right choice? When am I being too hard, when I am too soft? I don't want to be one of those parents who hovers, always protecting my child from everything. Children need to explore the world, get bumps and bruises, learn their own limits. But I also don't want to be harsh. I want her to know that I will always be there for her. How do I walk that line?
It's incredibly hard, and there are times, like tonight, when I have no idea if I'm making the right choice. I don't buy into the idea that one bad choice will scar her for life. Children are resilient and a lot tougher than a lot of people give them credit for. But I still worry, and agonize over what to do. And it doesn't get easier.
This is the part that's much more difficult than I ever thought it would be. And that's why I'm up, typing here, when everyone else in the house is sleeping.
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